Monday, 31 October 2005

I Spite Myself to Spite Her

My heart hurts.

It really hurts. I feel vulnerable and lonely, angry and desperate. So I bare my claws in the most feeble way possible. I neutered myself a long time ago after all the damage I did. All I can do is self-harm, to throw myself on the damn rocks and hope my pain registers with her, to see if it'll wake her out of this fug she's in.

I give my all for you, I pour everything I have into you. Why isn't it enough now? I'm humiliated, I became this because of you.

I beg for trinkets of affection, the loose change of love and I get the scraps. I am in shock. I am over reacting because I've known nothing like it.

Where have you gone my love? I miss you. Come back soon. I will be waiting for you my love.

I will be waiting.