Thursday, 29 December 2005

A Dog Finds Jesus

Christians are my favourite comedians.

Click here to follow the story of Bones, a Redbone Coonhound, and how he met his best friend Jesus and what his new best friend did for him.

I've decided it's been a while since I committed a crime so I'm publishing a memo below which the UK Government are trying to suppress, with the threat of prosecution under the Official Secrets Act. It details our use of intelligence extracted by torture and legal advice the Foreign Office received on the subject.

I could go to prison for this, so if anyone else wants a copy please feel free to copy it and add it to your website.


  1. haha, christians are definitely hilarious comedians. i haven't even read it yet but i'm immediately sending it out to others. i look forward to a good laugh.

    one thing, though, that i did see in that link. something about that dog claiming to be jesus' best friend? because jesus has always said that he and i are best friends, so..

    just saying, maybe that dog's story isn't completely true. just because it's written down and bound up so neatly on a web page doesn't mean i'm going to take everything written there literally.

  2. it is always fun to get a shot at the powers to be, who ever they are. Helps keep them humble I think.

    As regards Christians or religious folk in general, my beliefs are way outside of the mainstream but I do like to give them the respect of my silence. That assumes of course they are willing to give me the respect of theirs.

    Speaking of which, those funny looking people in the orange robes and tambourines have been a bit scarce of late. Did they join up with the Latter Day Saints?

  3. Well Dan, at least you country passed a legislation to ban admitting evidence acquired under torture to UK courts, I’d better have this and the Geneva Convention tattooed on my ass, just in case you know!
    it's safe to say that “On paper” the UK is better than the US at this one.

    As for the dog, I bet he spent a good deal of time in the south of “The United States of AChristica”

  4. So any information obtained under torture is ok, governments just can't use it in court (unless against the torturer)? Best to torture everyone then, just to be on the safe side.

  5. hi daniel

    no need to make a stink. i've answered your "question" over at cranky's under the "wedge issue."

    all the best!

  6. I bet you have you crazy right winger...

    If it's anything like your 'answers' to other people's comments, forgive me if I don't rush to read it.

    *shakes head*

  7. Ironically, Christians believe dogs don't go to Heaven.

    Ironically, people actually think that a field interrogation in remote, hostile territory is done with a pot of tea and very polite questions.

    Ironically, if put in the same position, I have to admit I would use torture almost immediately.

    Not ironically, I have arranged my life so it is almost impossible for me to ask someone in Uzbekstan anything worth torturing them for, let alone anything requiring me to torture them for it.

  8. Oh, and don't ask how I'd torture them. I'm way overqualified in some things.

    Let's just say someone would be watching lots of Coldplay with Ethel Merman tracks overdubbed.

    Lots and lots.

  9. You bet he is a right winger! Only those wing nuts share the common theme of buying into government propaganda. they buy into it so badly that I start to wonder why would one spend his time trolling at people's blogs to defend the government that already has a Hugh propaganda machine...why trying to take over the blog world? simply coz blogs are proving dangerous, they expose common sense and truth, both are anti-propaganda by nature! It only makes sense that someone does like peter if he is:

    1- An asshole or
    2- He is on the government payroll
    3- Directed by his church to take this job
    4- All of the above

    Going to his (peter) blog I see him talking about honour killing!!!!! And I lived in the Middle East for longer than his freaking life time! what he is talking about is a practice of which probably 10, 20 girls die of in the whole middle east region (and it happens in remote communities and among people with low or no education…it also happens in many other places in the world in countries where some communities are still not well educated and the rule of law is not strong due to socio-economic factors you asshats!) out of those 20 cases probably 5 are reported to news papers (now with the propaganda needs, they report over 15 cases or something!!)

    you wonder why is peter putting this post on his blog? Well, he is attempting to express the viciousness of their enemy and the novelty of their causes. mmmm you peter is really a poor lad who knows no shit about this world okay? And your government has killed over 100,000 Iraqis (was this with or without honour you asshat?!) so far! For what? To save the 20 or 100 supressed ladies you care about in your blog?? Guess what there are 50,000 people dieing every DAY not with honour killings and not by your brave cluster bombs and white phosphorus and not with civil wars funded by your government and not by disease for which providing anti-retroviral drugs would cost 20% of the cost of the war in Iraq.. no no no. Just 50,000 die simply of hunger you silly little ignorant peter! How many do you think die daily if you add all the previous causes? Now how does honour killing look like you ignorant prick? And do you still believe social problems like “honour killing” that affect an absolute minority are solved by cluster bombs and depleted uranium?

    Ultimately don’t you think your blog is a comedy channel, and you are a pathetic clown?

  10. Moe, did you go over there and tell him that?

    Please say yes.

  11. Moe, glad you found a comfortable home to bash on and on. Sigh

  12. anonymous,

    i haven't been bashing anybody at all anywhere this is probably the second blog i comment on with this nick name! so if your trying to imply a pattern then fiasco! you failed! and you lied, same like all your fellow nuts!

    did jesus tell you to lie all the time? mmm when i was reading the court ruling on ID and evolution the judge used a sentence that i think is not appropriate in a court document, he said "it's ironic that those who support ID lies over and over again in front of this court to try and hide their intentions"

    funny! no?

    I'm sure jesus loves you, you'r willing to do anything for him, lie, kill, etc.....

    Daniel: i'm "bashing" the right wing creatures who tend to show up as trolls on the blogs of "human beings" to shit on the floor, and I would never bother commenting in right winger blogs, it's pointless...

  13. HEY ANON!

    Moe ain't bashing so get your head out your ass.

    If he was bashing I'd have words but he ain't.

    Now scram!

  14. Peter has been exposed as a fraud. He is a two bit actor/writer/director from Toronto who thinks the only value in art comes in the form of a dollar. A true right wing scum bag. Look t what he said about the movie Rocky;

    "I have sat in the company of Leftists while watching Rocky and there were times when I was on the brink of tears, while they were complaining about ‘class structure’ in the movie or something or other. They cannot view a human film about the human heart through the eyes of a human – especially when its themes violate their sacred political vision. They hate the movie for what it is, and for what it isn’t. It’s like going to a comedy club and complaining that comedians are telling jokes and that people are laughing. It must be a very torturous experience to live your life as a Leftist, because you are basically trying to deny your own natural impulses at all times, as well as trying to suppress them in others."

    Read it all in this Right Wing Rag

  15. Bashing on as in Holtz, Mars. ON and ON and ON and . . .

    Moe, if you must, please try to be succinct.

  16. ARGH! It's not big enough for me to read. Where else can I find it?

  17. Anon: like I said, it's my blog and I don't feel he's bashing.

    Please follow advice to pull head from ass.

  18. Indeed, it is your blog and my point is made.

  19. Left wing, or Right wing, those who struggle to identify with either are, in the end, just part of the big turkey fascists feed the masses, like so much canned democracy.


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