Monday, 23 January 2006

Bush Beaten by a Cedar Tree (The Environment Strikes Back)

You may remember when Bush was beaten by a door, well this time the world's leading exponent of inanimate object combat has been thwarted by a Cedar tree. As you can see, Bush came off pretty badly, he looks like some kind of Zombie Warlord but one source close to Bush said:

"That motherfuckin' bastard tree is fuckin' dust after our esteemed leader launched a holy fuckin' war on it's sorry wooden ass and smited it into a thousand pieces like the bitch it is...or was."

The President had this to say in his defence:

"As you can possibly see, I have an injury myself, not here at the hospital, but in combat with a cedar. I eventually won. The cedar gave me a little scratch."

This comment was made at the Amputee Care Center of Brooke Army Medical Center, San Antonio, Texas on January 1st, 2006. You may need to read that last bit again and realise with utter horror that President Bush, in a clumsy attempt at an ice-breaker, was comparing his injuries caused by being an asshat to men and woman who have lost limbs due to a war he so desperately wanted to fight.


Video of the speech is here, you may have to watch through your fingers and what is it with all those massive pauses between words?

Here is a picture of Bush having better times with a Cedar tree and clearly kicking it's ass:

And here is a picture of soldier Robert Jackson with no legs:


  1. excellent comparisons. And yeah, I got a real chuckle out of the zombie warlord. ;o)

  2. In fact, had I been there, I'd have rooted for the tree! Get it? "Rooted" for the tree....haw.

  3. Cool...RoboLegs...with legs like that I'd be able to walk the dog in half the time!

    Where can I buy these?

  4. the tree technically lost, but displayed a moral superiority never seen among the Republicans.

    I applaud the spirit of the tree, and again state my immense displeasure that HW pushed when he should have pulled.

  5. What if those hand wounds had been closer to the center of his palm? Maybe there would have been a religious twist. After all, God talks to him directly --

    We had a big pine tree fall in our yard -- wish he had been under it. Go trees!

  6. One tree dies, another is born. It is the cycle of life.

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