Things have been really tough of late, acting jobs have been hard to come by, auditions painfully infrequent and when they do arrive the job in question is either rubbish or seemingly out of reach due to arbitrary factors (too tall, don't live in the right place, wrong colour) and my lack of money and self-respect is frankly nauseating.
Such is the actors life.
But it's strange how a little drop of positive energy can turn that around and you find the strength to pick yourself up and take on the next struggle.
Yesterday was the peak of some serious fucking depression I've been feeling and the positive energy off others came at a time when I really needed it. First, my friend Hannah went with me to see the show of the actors I have just started teaching and made me feel more jolly.
Today I had a job interview that went so well I got the job (not acting but using those skills to work in marketing...hey, I need to pay the bills), then I taught my young actors, which, forgive me for going on, it such a buzz. I had the older group (15-19) tonight for the first time and I love being around that enthusiasm and drive and sharing in the moments when they do something for the first time and just love it; that revelation. I could've let tonight's class go on all night, it really is a highlight of my week.
Then I had a meeting with some people who've read my play and they fucking loved it. I felt like doing a little dance, in fact I am going to do a little dance once I've done typing this. It may not lead anywhere (the kind words, not the dance) but to hear that positivity really healed me (I sound like a fucking hippy) and topped off a sound day.
I must also mention the positive energy and support coming from my good friends Kirky and Keith, who have helped (without knowing it) getting my head in a good place.
Thanks must also go to the Artic Monkeys for providing a soundtrack to my new mood.
I'm off to have a dance...