Friday, 20 January 2006

Immediate Theatre and "The Touch of Death"

Picture the scene.

You are doing some immediate theatre (ie: fast, fun, accurate, edgy and hard hitting) and some person stands up from the audience and says that this theatre is not very immediate at all.

You go over to the said spectator and pepper spray the bastard in the face and stand over his squirming body and scream:

IS THAT IMMEDIATE ENOUGH FOR YOU, YOU BIG SHIT?

Forgive me.

I am suffering from post-audition stress syndrome. I've had quite a few auditions this week and I have another on Sunday coming up, you start getting vaguely hysterical after a while.

It's a funny business auditioning because you build up a pseudo camaraderie with your fellow auditionees; even though they are actually your opponents in the war for work.

What was funny today was that the director of the show utilised 'The Touch of Death' technique, to let people know they weren't suitable for the play. She'd lean over to them, place a hand on their shoulder and say: "Sorry, you're not quite right". Her hand did brush my leg but I'm trained in ju-ju magic to resist "The Touch of Death".

If in doubt, use voodoo.

4 comments:

  1. OOOH! Firsties!

    Touch of Death... love it!

    Auditioning IS so stressful, isn't it? And you really have to toughen yourself up to deal with the rejections that always happen, no matter HOW good you are.

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  2. When that director placed her hand on someone's shoulder, wouldn't it have been funny if he/she yelled "goose" and ran around the room before leaving?


    Keep using the voodoo :)

    Good luck with your audition tomorrow!

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  3. The immediacy of the immediate problem will immediately mediate the immediate mediation.

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  4. That's worse than pro wrestling's Von Erich Brother's Iron Claw.

    ReplyDelete

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