Thursday, 5 January 2006

The Spastic Kid

You know the ones. The ones who get their heads stuck in chairs because they were curious, or drive out in front of cars in their 'magic wagons'...

or arm themselves with weapons and go on killing sprees, destroying none spastics... Well sometimes they are blessed with special mutant gifts from baby Jesus and this one spastic kid I know has the amazing skill of being able to give a a pet dog an amazingly apt name within seconds of viewing it. Sorta like Rain Man but without the patronising performances and crass exploitation of disabled people for fiscal gain...but hey, if you play a spaz you get an Oscar. People love seeing God's special children on the big screen don't they?

On an utterly unconnected theme I discovered a very high resolution version of Zapruder film of the assassination of JFK, it is here and it made me cry and feel very fucking sad because it looks like a movie and that would mean it was all fake and the bit where Jackie tries to put the bits of her husbands head back in breaks my heart.

Where was Superman to come and save him?


  1. when i was young, my mom bought me a superman suit...i never thought superman was exciting though. i put on my suit and in a matter of seconds i lost excitement again since nothing changed about me, i always aspired for the ultimate truth...never loved the darn suit.

    for that my hero was and still is Scooby Dooby DOoooooooooooo

  2. speaking of elvis and jfk, ever see bubba ho-tep? heh, bruce campbell

    haha, i would love to know that kid with the pet-naming ability. actually, i'd like to compete with him. i tend to think myself gifted in anything thing that seems rediculous that someone would think they were good at. like dog-naming, or flipping your wallet out real quick, etc.

  3. Oh.

    The only disturbing thing about Supe is, it looks like he's also an infantalist, and is wearing an adult-sized diaper under the S.


  4. Oh, and the Zapruder flick is genuine. You don't fake a gross cranial distortion w/pressure burst caused by high-velocity projectile in front of dozens of Texans.

    Of course, people there DO think George W. Bush is one of their own, and not some spoiled East Coast kid...

  5. I can not watch it..I remember it like it was yesterday since i am far older than you dear man.


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