Saturday, 10 June 2006

England 1 Paraguay 0

What a bloody shambles! Yes, we won and that's all that matters, especially with Sweden only managing a 0-0 draw with Trinidad and Tobago but England can only get better.

No wonder the old football cliche, "it's a game of two halves" gets so much use; England bossed the first 45 minutes with a relaxed display of practice match football and should have added to their early opening goal. But instead they appear for the second half with a slender 1-0 lead and proceeded to be given the run around by Paraguay, who were clearly playing their hearts out trying to get a result.

Faced with a passionate but distinctly average team, England relied heavily on their excellent defense to get them out of trouble, so much so that the last few minutes had me screaming at the TV for England to "FUCKIN' GET RID!" (for those not in the know, that means clearing the ball from the goal mouth area).

As mentioned the defense was excellent, virtually flawless and very competitive, boads well for the future. Gerrard and Lampard played well in the first half but as the game progressed got trapped in a flatter midfield formation so that Paraguay simply passed through them. Joe Cole offered plenty on the left flank but was then used as a deep forward to little effect but he battled well. Beckham continued his good run of form and was always a threat with passing that is truly sublime. Downing, who came on as a sub, was great, lots of driving runs and looked good getting at the defense but kept holding back too deep in his own half at times.

Crouch was my man of the match, he was a constant handful up front and worked himself into the ground for England whilst his strike partner Owen was utterly and worryingly anonymous. He is clearly short of match fitness and has 5 days to get himself into attacking shape for Trinidad and Tobago.

Final thought, the referee was a total wanker...


  1. As long as this was our worst performance, at least its out of the way!

    Roar the 3 Lions to Victory!

  2. Fuck Paraguay and their American puppetmasters.

    I'll watch them burn in hell.

    From heaven.


  3. This blog is covering the story more sanely than most.

  4. I thought the ref was a Mexican Ron Mael from Sparks...this pitch ain't big enough for the both of us and it ain't me who's going to leave!

    What the fuck is that Crouch bloke about. I kept expecting the mothership from Close Encounters to descend and beam the big fella up. Be-be-boo-be-boo...

  5. I hope the Col. Dr. doesn't have something physically wrong with him. First his blog screws up, now he's repeatedly talking about looking down from heaven.

    Take care of yourself, sir. Don't think you will get a free pass. You will have to live through the next several decades on earth along with many of the rest of us. You think certain people are going to hell? Guess again. We're already in it.

  6. Well, if bud's finally admitting America is hell, all I can say is every single person of American ancestry deserves it.

    Burning passionate hatred.

    From heaven.

  7. Mrs B was ranting at the ref...Wanker was a word she used a lot!

  8. Wanker. Very descriptive. I'm sure your yelling helped!

  9. Pardon me for not being English, but what is the exact definition of a 'wanker'?

  10. Red: it refers to a man jerking off.

    Darren: steady, I'm the same size as Crouch but wider...


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