Yesterday my good friend Kirky came to visit, after a brief and dispiriting trot around Harvey Nicks (do you know how hard it is to get jeans that fit my giant body?) and some ridiculous haircuts on the staff in the Paul Smith store, we adjoined to Dirty Dicks near Liverpool Street station for a few pints and some man chat.
From there the curried delights of Brick Lane was only a stumble away, so after a brief haggle (25% discount and two free drinks) we feasted ourselves on fine snap and chatted about whether or not Darren was right in his comments concerning art. I hit Kirky until he agreed with me that Darren was very wrong indeed and that art is a tool for change…
A few more beers later, we began the journey back to Loughton and this is where Yannis appeared, a Greek (possibly Turkish) gentlemen whose broken English; littered with expletives and dangerous imagery, hollered through the London air. Key snippets of his dialogue included the now legendary:
“I LOVE MY LIFE! DON’T SHIT MY LIFE! I JOHN LENNON! DON’T SICK ON MY KIDS! I LOVE MY KIDS! I BOB DYLAN! DON’T SHIT MY KIDS OR I SICK ON YOU THIGH!”
Unfortunately, on the tube on the way home, Yannis saw some posters for UK TV station Channel 5 and he responded quite badly:
“ALL I GET IS CHANNEL 5! I LOVE MY LIFE! CHANNEL 5 GIVE ME CHEMO! MY HAIR FALL OUT LIKE PINE NUTS! CHANNEL 5 GIVE ME CANCER AND CHEMO SO I SICK BUT DON’T KNOW IT! STOP SHITTING ON MY KIDS!”
Thankfully, Yannis was a figment of me and Kirky’s imagination and turned out to be us shouting in the street and on the train.
Oh the joy of booze.
Have a good weekend people; I know me and Yannis certainly will…