Friday, 27 October 2006

The Adventures of Yannis

Yesterday my good friend Kirky came to visit, after a brief and dispiriting trot around Harvey Nicks (do you know how hard it is to get jeans that fit my giant body?) and some ridiculous haircuts on the staff in the Paul Smith store, we adjoined to Dirty Dicks near Liverpool Street station for a few pints and some man chat.

From there the curried delights of Brick Lane was only a stumble away, so after a brief haggle (25% discount and two free drinks) we feasted ourselves on fine snap and chatted about whether or not Darren was right in his comments concerning art. I hit Kirky until he agreed with me that Darren was very wrong indeed and that art is a tool for change…

A few more beers later, we began the journey back to Loughton and this is where Yannis appeared, a Greek (possibly Turkish) gentlemen whose broken English; littered with expletives and dangerous imagery, hollered through the London air. Key snippets of his dialogue included the now legendary:

“I LOVE MY LIFE! DON’T SHIT MY LIFE! I JOHN LENNON! DON’T SICK ON MY KIDS! I LOVE MY KIDS! I BOB DYLAN! DON’T SHIT MY KIDS OR I SICK ON YOU THIGH!”

Unfortunately, on the tube on the way home, Yannis saw some posters for UK TV station Channel 5 and he responded quite badly:

“ALL I GET IS CHANNEL 5! I LOVE MY LIFE! CHANNEL 5 GIVE ME CHEMO! MY HAIR FALL OUT LIKE PINE NUTS! CHANNEL 5 GIVE ME CANCER AND CHEMO SO I SICK BUT DON’T KNOW IT! STOP SHITTING ON MY KIDS!”

Thankfully, Yannis was a figment of me and Kirky’s imagination and turned out to be us shouting in the street and on the train.

Oh the joy of booze.

Have a good weekend people; I know me and Yannis certainly will…

11 comments:

  1. Dirty Dicks! Were you served by the lesbian woman from Angola upstairs?

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  2. "My hair fell out like PIne Nuts."
    Brilliant!

    You should be a writer, oh wait...

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  3. Some folks say you used to be a complete punter. I'm not seeing that. Are you reformed?

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  4. You and your international split personalities... does that make you a larger coalition than the one that invaded Iraq?

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  5. I shifted over to wordpress, update ya bookmarks with the new address!

    Have a good one.

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  6. It pleases me to know you are doing well.
    Not so much in my case-am being persued by a coven of wiches.

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  7. It pleases me to know you are doing well. Not so in my case, I am being pursued by a coven of witches.

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  8. And why, exactly, did you feel the need to haggle for free drinks and a discount in a curry house? Hardly the same mark-up as on a major electrical item...

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  9. Last anon: it's Brick Lane, that's what you do, you barter the prices on the food.

    JESUS WEPT!

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  10. Sounds like a great fun time there Dan ;)

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  11. sounds very Johnny Depp a la Secret Window, Secret Garden;-)

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