Thursday, 19 October 2006

A Story About a Small Mexican

A funny thing happened to me today, I was on the phone at work and as I was chatting away to what I imagined to be a beautiful young lady with a nice tummy, big eyes and a fantastic arse, I heard a little voice squeak from the receiver:

“Okay! You wanna’ touch my jalapeno meester? I stick it in your eye you beetch!”

I looked down and saw a mini-Mexican (about 3 inches long) protruding from the blower, he was waving his tiny fists at me and doing a little dance to get my attention, he looked like an angry cocktail sausage.

“Okay! I Aztec your sorry ass meester, I jalapeno you in your eye you Spainish peeg dog who invade my lands. TOUCH MY LITTLE PENIS!”

As I removed him from the receiver he bit me with his little stained teeth and did a wee in his Mexican pants with the excitement of it all.

“Okay! Take that and party you beetch, you taste like nasty salsa as I rub my little penis on your arm.”

I made my excuses to the beautiful young lady and arranged to bump into her by mistake at a bookstore, as I was doing so I noticed that the wee man had hauled out his leaky brown willy and was dapping it on my arm.

“Okay! I own you now you beetch, I taco belled you with my man sword, my moustache fills up with spit as I laugh at you meester.”

I could tolerate no more of this behaviour from the miniscule Zapatista and even though I wanted to put him on the tele and make me a fortune from his vexed, tiny body, I scooped him up and popped the bastard in my gob and crunched on his fajita form until he was dead.


  1. It's done:

  2. This is the best f*cking story i have EVER read aside from p0rn!!! Its hysterical! I have a new found love for mexicans, jalepenos and "dapping"!! HA HA!

  3. Um, exactly how many posts do you have that fall under the category "daft racist"? Never mind; I'm afraid to hear the answer.

    You'd make Cyclops proud.

  4. Jess: I hope you don't take offense, the 'daft racist' tag is a terrible in joke with a UK comedian called Alan Partridge.

  5. I don't know what to say, but I gotta say something. So this is me responding.

  6. Aha now I know why Eva was talking about a little mexican man, sneaky lol.


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