A funny thing happened to me today, I was on the phone at work and as I was chatting away to what I imagined to be a beautiful young lady with a nice tummy, big eyes and a fantastic arse, I heard a little voice squeak from the receiver:
“Okay! You wanna’ touch my jalapeno meester? I stick it in your eye you beetch!”
I looked down and saw a mini-Mexican (about 3 inches long) protruding from the blower, he was waving his tiny fists at me and doing a little dance to get my attention, he looked like an angry cocktail sausage.
“Okay! I Aztec your sorry ass meester, I jalapeno you in your eye you Spainish peeg dog who invade my lands. TOUCH MY LITTLE PENIS!”
As I removed him from the receiver he bit me with his little stained teeth and did a wee in his Mexican pants with the excitement of it all.
“Okay! Take that and party you beetch, you taste like nasty salsa as I rub my little penis on your arm.”
I made my excuses to the beautiful young lady and arranged to bump into her by mistake at a bookstore, as I was doing so I noticed that the wee man had hauled out his leaky brown willy and was dapping it on my arm.
“Okay! I own you now you beetch, I taco belled you with my man sword, my moustache fills up with spit as I laugh at you meester.”
I could tolerate no more of this behaviour from the miniscule Zapatista and even though I wanted to put him on the tele and make me a fortune from his vexed, tiny body, I scooped him up and popped the bastard in my gob and crunched on his fajita form until he was dead.