Thursday, 30 November 2006

You WILL Enjoy the Theatre

President Bush isn’t the only lame duck leader struggling in domestic politics, Prime Minster Blair seems dead set on doing his dying swan routine whilst spewing out death knell legislation.

It seems that education is the unlucky target for his legacy building policy, with much talk of more private company investment in education (always a bad thing, there is no profit to be found in children), a rather late acknowledgement of the International Baccalaureate Diploma but more interestingly Blair has started to bang on about ‘life skills’.

‘Life skills’ have been with us since the beginning of time, it basically means being able to look after yourself and be a decent human being, however, since the early 90s various agencies across the UK have felt the need to try and teach ‘life skills’ to young people who seem to not know how to look after themselves and are not decent human beings. Frankly, it’s very silly indeed and this is coming from someone who has spent more time teaching ‘life skills’ programmes then he’d care to remember.

Thankfully, ‘life skills’ were only foisted on disadvantaged and under privileged kids because obviously middle class/wealthy kids have no need to learn how to look after themselves and to be decent human beings as they have money to negate any tricky social situations…Blair is determined to end that and seems hell bent on making sure that all British children can cook, surf the internet, manage money and enjoy the theatre.

Never mind where this is going to fit in to an already over crammed, over legislated and bureaucratic education system; I’m still pissing my pants with laughter at the hilarious thought of making children across Britain enjoy the theatre. Does he realise what a massive task he has on his hands? Solving the Iraq problem pails into insignificance in the face of convincing the youth of the nation to stop surfing the Internet (at least he’s reached one target already), get their fat arses away from the tele and huff and puff their way to the nearest theatre (no longer that near due to chronic government under funding) to sit through some subsidised piece of po-faced historical drama that says absolutely nothing to the juvenile watching it.

I’m all for getting young people into theatres but twisting their arm is not going to solve the problem of a medium that does very little to communicate to them.


  1. If theatre had more tits and fanny, and the tickets cost a quid, I'd be there like a shot. Too expensive and the bastion of the middle classes. Mind you, I went to a Ray Cooney farce once (one of his later ones) and one of the female characters ended up bollock naked. You saw her muff and everything.

    But yeah, send more actors to Iraq and the army to the theatres...

  2. I'm against schools teaching most of the life skills stuff - parents should be responsible for that. It would cost less to educate parents on the importance of teaching those things. But I do think that students should be highly encouraged to go the the theater. My first experience was very young, but I know a lot of people who only got to go when the school went, and it was an incredible experience for them. I think the shows need to be carefully chosen, or students should be given a choice of shows, but all should see at least one play and one musical a year.

  3. Interesting. I've recently been sharing correspondence with a company which claims to provide Etiquette and Protocol Intelligence to various groups.

    Our primary concern is that such companies are, at heart, preachy mimics of passe rules which were once practical (due to a lack of indoor plumbing and modern medicine), but can now only serve to make one look like a pretentious asshole of the utmost degree.

    What every "leader" (we restrain ourselves from saying "corporate lickspittle" only barely) fails to see is that proper education in democratic principles tends to automatically help citizens understand how they should behave.

    The desire to be accepted in a fair society can often make the hardest heads bend in humility, as we have seen countless times through the execution of Canadian justice.

    Our American counterparts (we shudder at the comparison) tend to inflict Draconian punishment, while we simply offer a freedom-based, legally-protected system of equal rights and opportunity.

    Violent crime rates are approximately 3000 (Three THOUSAND) times higher in the United States by comparison.

    The key difference is not fudiciary. Many people do not realise that American convicts have many of the same aftercare benefits as Canadian parolees. However, prejudicial treatment of former criminals has been institutionalised in most American states, leaving little reason to "go straight".

    I revert to Pericles, who stated these exact principles time and again. The unspoken rules of society are not laws which require the courts' interventions. They are "understood" by those who find living in a liberated society more beneficial than breaking the law.

    For all the preaching about social responsibility, neocon governments are piss-poor at taking it themselves. How is someone supposed to desire getting along, when their own government is, time and again, clearly shown to be liars, murderers, cheaters, and the worst of everything they accuse others of being?

    Should Messrs. Blair and Bush truly wish to see a more "Christian" spirit return to their constituents' hearts, then they would be well advised to begin asking forgiveness.

    WMD was proven false.
    The Iraq-Al Qaeda connections were admitted to be invented (lied about)
    Every reason for the War has been bankrupted.
    Still, the war goes on, and nobody has even admitted to a single mistake. This is why we cannot learn "life lessons," and this is why our very existence is threatened.

    It is not we unwashed Philistine masses who need to shape up--it is instead those who have taken far too great a liberty with our tolerance and patience who must now stand down, and serve penance for their wickedness and sin.

  4. I always liked Pericles, he really was a golden boy


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