Monday, 11 December 2006

My Favourite Helmet

I am white but I think I'm black, hence my 'gangsta' fingers.

This gets me in trouble with white people who think that I'm disrespecting my heritage and who can't understand why I'd like to be a nigger.

This also gets me in trouble with black people who think I'm disrespecting their heritage and who can't understand why I'd like to be a nigger.

Niggers are so cool and I can use that word because my black friends let me use it but I have to say it without the 'er' on the end otherwise they call my mum a whore and threaten to pop a cap in my ass.

I wear my favourite helmet for three reasons, the first is that due to me pretending to be black I get a lot of people trying to punch my face in and the helmet makes it pretty hard for people to do that. The second reason is it makes me look cool and a bit like a crazy nigger. The third reason is it makes me feel like I'm the only white member of the Wu-Tang Clan and me and the Ghost Face Killa are using our martial arts skills on some Muslims.

When I think about me and the Ghost Face Killa beating up Arabs I get a funny feeling in my pants, I think that's how black people must feel all the time...


  1. what's up with your comments?

  2. Daniel, I am seeing this post too late. mY colleagues almost had to carry me off as I feel of my chair...metaphorically;-)

    I liked your post! You are something else;-)))


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