Thursday, 4 January 2007

Eating Turkish on Green Lanes

As we sat in a Turkish restaurant, tucking into fine, cheap food and discussing the merits of our New Years Eve plans and the houses we’d looked at together, we spotted a beautiful boy who kept sneaking crafty glances at us. It was clear that the game was on...

It soon developed into peek-a-boo and cat and mouse and before we knew it we were sticking out tongues, making strange funny noises and pulling the silliest of faces as our young friend popped out from behind his chair and mesmerized us with his gorgeous eyes and sense of mischievous play.

His older sister watched on, partly aloof, partly desperate to be involved herself in the game; his parents meanwhile seemed grateful for the distraction but kept apologising for his staring when in fact we loved every moment of his time and the feeling that the three of us would never get bored.

Eventually we had to leave, having hogged our table in a high turnover restaurant for far too long but we did so with our hearts lighter, a sparkle in our eyes and a small wave to our small friend.


  1. Them poor nigger Turk kids, reduced to eating metal bars in English restaurants. Well, that's the price of progress as my CINC the Almighty George says.

    God bless America, where nigger Turk kids get the benefit of unlawful arrest and death at the hands of out-of-control racist law enforcement, so as to save them the embarrassment of eating metal bars in English-style restaurants.

    Guddam we're good. We're so fucking good. ***sounds of kissing one's own ass***

    America. America. America.

    Now, where did I leave my gun? It's time to go to school...

    The opinions expressed in the above satirical excerpt are those of a racist American piece of shit, and do not necessarily reflect those of real people.

  2. Maybe he recognised you from your commercial!

  3. Actually, here in America we do not call Turks "niggers". You have to modify the racial slur with the prefix "sand". Also acceptable are "towel head", "camel jockey", and even "rag head". Just so you know. There are probably other acceptable terms, but I do not get the memos from the Klan. They kicked me off the white people list because I do not vote Republican.

    Anyway - the story reminds of one of my stories. A few years ago I was eating at a place that gave you unlimited free peanuts at the table. The peanuts were still in the shell. A few tables away there was a family eating.

    The kid was bored, and looking at people and stuff. So I decide to have a little fun. I wizz a peanut in the kid's general direction. He starts to try to tell his parents, but the parents just give the standard "shut up and let me eat" answer. So I keep doing it.

    After a while the kid has enough and starts to throw peanuts back. Of course he is not sneaky like I am and the parents notice. It was funny. For me anyway.

    Was that evil?

  4. I quote:

    We are fighting this war of Independence so that our world will be safe to protect the White Race from miscegenation between our own farmed slaves, the Jew, the Mexican devil and the nigger Turk. I believe that one day every true Confederated American will thank us, and when they invent Nazism and something I call the personal computer, Apple Computer will follow my self-important, drunken lead and strut around like the shit even though we're really just a bunch of white trash polluting the planet and we should all die horribly at the hands of Islam. Oh, and them Conneticut Bushes all suck, and mark my words, they'll fuck everything they touch up.
    Robert E. Lee, Breakfast, 1863.

    You can't argue with history.

  5. I have taken to showing young children Saddams' last moments & telling them that they have hung Santa.
    no end of fun.

  6. It's kind of flattering when a baby stares at you. But annoying when the parent gives you a dirty look.

  7. Children can be the best entertainment when they want to be. Other times you wish they'd just take a nap.

  8. That was nice of you to help out his parents while having fun yourself. Kids are great.

  9. Ya big softy,You seem to play the same games as me ,I love to witness the innocence of kids!


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