Wednesday, 31 January 2007

Ideas For How to be Funny in an Audition for a Football Commercial

Call an imaginary Emile Heskey a galoot, while jumping up and down.

Call an imaginary Paul Scholes a bloody ginger genius, while jumping up and down.

“Can you hear that noise? That’s my heart breaking after you lost you useless bunch of nobs.”

Penalty porn: where the ball is like a strange shaped penis and the goal is like a massive net based vagina.

Crazy goal celebration dance where I shake my ass like a YO! MTV RAPS bitch whilst singing 'Relight My Fire' by Take That but with football centric lyrics.

Say “Your Mum” a lot.

Do an impression of Goldmember.

Love a football player so much that you offer to have a womb sown into you and to have their babies.

Trust me, you had to be there…

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