Friday, 13 April 2007

Going Back Over Old Ground

Over the Easter break I went back to my hometown of Nottingham, mainly to see the legend that is Kirky (who now even has his own blog) and to also see some young people I used to teach (and their offspring, as two of the girls have had beautiful, baby boys).

I also went back with a view to visiting some places that I’d not been to in a while that had some personal resonance with me and in visiting them I made a shocking discovery: they don’t mean much anymore.

It all felt a bit tired, distant and desperate, raking over old coals in order to garner some vague sense of long gone past adventures, trials and tribulations. I started to regret even visiting those places, it was like they didn’t belong to me anymore, war memorials and battlegrounds that were so woven into who I am that I didn’t need to visit the damn places in the first place, after all, I carry them all the time. Something felt mawkish and sentimental about the whole episode, forced entertainment.

I don’t think I’ll be going back to Nottingham for a long time and I certainly won’t be going on any self-guided tours to dig up ghosts that should’ve been laid to rest a long time ago. They need to be left there, in peace and in my heart.


  1. I get the same when I go home as well. weird innit?

  2. I know what you mean. I decided to stop harping on old places in life and to go to new places from now on.

  3. Yes, I remember that feeling when I used to live in Denmark and come home to visit my family. It all felt so distant and not much a part of who I was.
    Now? I don't feel like that anymore because I guess Nottingham feels like my home...for now.It's also a similar feeling I get when I've been on school reunions - like people are trying to force entertainment and the like. Hate school reunions, I really do!

  4. Going home makes me feel oversized (even physically), and sad.

  5. COuld have told me you were in town you slag...

  6. I too have done the same only to find some bad shit cropping up in my mind,Sometimes its best to let those memories sleep well deep inside.

  7. It didn't feel like forced entertainment to me. It was nice to see where you grew up. It's such a big part of you, I'm glad you felt you could share it with me.

  8. Edie: nice comment, I like your phrasing.

    Doogie: sorry dude, I love you man!

    Eva-Jane: Thank you. xxxx


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