Thursday, 12 April 2007

To Disappoint

"Be careful what you pretend to be because you are what you pretend to be." Kurt Vonnegut

"Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before." Kurt Vonnegut (again)

I’ve spent so long changing who I am, I’ve forgotten who I am supposed to be and seriously doubt I know who I was in the first place.

Sometimes, I wish that I’d stay as who I was but then I don’t know which me I’d pick; sometimes all the self-improvement and acknowledging my flaws gets tiring and I wish I could just be at peace with who I am rather than chasing my tail trying to be something I’m not.

Sometimes I get sick and tired of letting people down and disappointing them when I’m trying my best but then I remember that failure is part of the rich pattern of life and how dull it’d be without any of the bad stuff…just wish the bad stuff didn’t hurt so much.

This post is dedicated to Kurt Vonnegut.


  1. I love to get stoned and watch Slaughterhouse Five.

    Anyway, I prefer to think of self-improvement efforts not as attepts to change myself but efforts to remove the extraneous outer shells to reveal a core, the essence of the Animal Mind.

    RIP Vonnegut.

  2. I hope you know that I love who you are. Even though Im moany sometimes. But that's who I am. :-)


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