I wish I didn't get ill, it's so shameful and embarrassing; makes me half a man, makes me the smallest big man there is out there. Sinking deeper into the seat, into myself and it's just about the only way I can deal with all the anger and confusion I feel.
Maybe I should've slunk off, walked away, ran away and left you to your fun while I did it on my own. Best to go it alone than bring you down. I made a judgement call and it was the wrong one but I was doing so well.
I always have some tissues don't I?
Forcing a smile, hold on to your heart.
Having a good cry with my trousers round my ankles.
"Do me a favour and break my nose. Do me a favour and tell me to go away. Do me a favour and stop asking questions. Do me a favour and ask if you need some help. Do me a favour and stop flattering yourself."
Really love, it's fine...