Thursday, 31 May 2007

Everyone is a Madam

There is a person I walk past every day on the way to work who is selling The Big Issue, they are what we call an 'empowered beggar'.

Trouble is, they bug the shit out of me. Why?

First off, they speak in an impenetrable Eastern European accent, which renders much of what they say useless to the human ear.

Second off, no matter what gender you are, the homeless in questions calls you madam; whether you are a madam or not. Thus, all 6ft 7in of me is as much of a madam as a 5ft nothing teen emo queen. That is clearly wrong.

Has no one taken the beggar in question aside and advised them on the error of their ways? Is no one as bothered as I am? Or is it quite simply that we all like laughing at the foreigner when they say things they don't understand?

Oh come on, surely I wasn't the only one to make the blonde, Catholic, French exchange student say blowjob over and over again...


  1. Funny post, Madam. Interesting story.

    I happen to appreciate the acts of "beggars". I think they're the most honest people in all Euro-American societies. Their occupation is the most honorable. They are, when I begat children, going to be my children's role models. From "beggars" my children shall learn how to get what they want from unsuspecting, innocents and cynical, capitalist misanthropes. From observing "beggars" on a daily basis, my children shall become perfect, bourgeois swine.

  2. Oh, Madam, I think you have just nominated yourself to be the one to educate this Madam.

  3. you've read american psycho, i take it? stop before you get that far.
    and i don't believe you made the exchange student only say 'blowjob' over and over again, you dirty rascal.

  4. Ortho: nice comment, the swine bit made me grin.

    Clarissa: are you being rude, in a nicw way?

    Rich: long time no see man, I ain't planning on killing no people, not yet. I am indeed a rascal.

  5. I misread the title as "Everyone is a Madman."

  6. i've been popping in and out, keeping track of your rantings.
    is the tramp on the phone in that picture, by the way?

  7. No, google image, the real tramp in question refused to be trapped in my lens.

  8. he he, this is a funny post! You're funny hunny xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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