Friday, 29 June 2007
By sheer luck, the car bomb was stumbled upon and dealt with before it could serve its nefarious purpose and as I type stories of further suspicious cars are circulating the news agencies. I’m sure that over the weekend further details and theories will arise but no doubt the succession of Prime Minister Brown has acted as a launch pad for an attempted ‘reminder attack’ that there are individuals bent on the murder of innocent civilians.
Light relief is offered by the newsreader who refused to participate in the Paris Hilton charade and attempted to destroy the story with fire after ripping it up into tiny pieces. I only wish that Mika Brzezinski had tried to eat the offending news item, like a spy devouring the truth saving cyanide pill; her statement that “I hate this story and I don’t think it should be the lead” has gone some way to restore my faith in American media.
And I’m not too sure whether the fact that if Al Gore ran for President he would attract some 32% of Democratic support is a good or a bad thing. There seems to be lacking on both sides a real heavyweight candidate, hence the lure of Mr Gore who in retirement has certainly expanded about the jowls and gut. My only worry is that without a strong Democratic candidate America could sleep walk into a further four years of a mediocre Rethug leadership. We shall see…
Here’s hoping the weekend brings no successful terrorist atrocities in London, more newsreaders refusing to read out rubbish stories and the US producing a bona fida Presidential candidate.
Monday, 25 June 2007
Internet is hard to come by at the moment, apologies about that, more videos of me in action should be up and coming soon and I am fully clothed in them and my hair is massive.
Thanks for all the positive feedback regarding the commercials, makes me feel less of a whore. Better shoot as only got 7 mins of Internet time left.
Be seeing you!
Thursday, 21 June 2007
I'm sure this is what many of you have always wanted, the chance to see me naked in a shower behaving like an idiot...
This is one version of an advert that is running across the United States and was a real blast to film, great crew and great company and got to hang put in Barcelona for a few days.
If anyone needs a translation for my ranting, please leave a comment.
Tuesday, 19 June 2007
“Hidden currents” he would say mysteriously “suck you under, even the strongest swimmers”. Dad couldn’t swim of course.
A place for us, with the water, the blue sky, the City Ground and Trent Bridge in the distance; with the Green Line buses streaming over it: the 6, the 7/7a and of course the number 10 to Ruddington. Looking down at the floor, at the old railings all rusty, the lucky houses that had a great view in exchange for the danger of serious flooding and your shoes. It was home wasn’t it?
I remember when I asked us to go back and pay a visit, we never got round to it, which is typical. Perhaps best we didn’t, only good things rest there.
I love Trent Bridge, I love the memories, even if sometimes they make me sad but I never want to go back there.
Sunday, 17 June 2007
Here I am then, as many of you requested, in full Strongbow advert effect.
Please note that coming up to me and going "ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" is not funny and never will be and no, I don't like cider. Worrying to note that on YouTube a whole bunch of asshats have made their own versions of the advert and posted them for all the world to see, below is a selection of some of the best ones. By best, I mean having your heart sucked out of your ears.
Saturday, 16 June 2007
His father looked weary, used to these out bursts no doubt, most people pretended not to notice the teenager with dark hair going ape-shit, smashing his fists red raw against the train carriage. Some people looked scared.
The young man turned to me and screamed:
"YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS!"
I looked at him and smiled, holding back the riposte: "Yeah, £18.70." Small victory rebutting a child with learning difficulties.
No one offered to give up their seat to alleviate his woe, including me, his father had to smother him to contain his rage, his tired face as his own son hit him will take some time to leave me.
Friday, 15 June 2007
The conditions in the Gaza Strip are bad enough; it is little more than a glorified refugee camp with poor infrastructure and high levels of child mortality and other far-reaching health implications. The last thing it needs is a senseless and brutal conflict between Palestine’s two political forces, which will frankly have massive consequences across the region.
After a terse and tense 3-month joint government between Fatah and Hamas, the status quo has collapsed into a bloodbath, with some 100 people dead already. The result is that once again Palestinian politics takes a step backwards, backwards to guns, violence and the creeping infringement of a fundamentalist Islamic government, close to the borders of Israel.
I have mixed feelings on the matter, on one hand I have respect for Hamas as a genuine political organisation that has the backing of large swathes of the Palestinian population; backing that stems in a frustration with the more gentle and therefore negated approach of Fatah (once again we are seeing a militarisation of the Islamic faith, caused by desperation with political isolation). On the other, I see behaviours and actions that will feed a Zionist and US response that will further damage the claims of the Palestinian people to a land of their own. They are playing directly into the hands of those that wish them the greatest harm.
I can only hope that in the aftermath, Palestinian diplomats come to the fore rather than the war mongers, who still believe the gun and the bomb will break their repression rather than engaging with the world politick to highlight and solve their woes.
Peace be with you all this weekend.
Thursday, 14 June 2007
I always saw the UK media as a two-faced, neutered, mutant cow with massive udders swollen with the milk of tedium. This feral beast that the Prime Minister refers to I only see when there is a witch-hunt over some minor celebrity, or a national fuss over a member of the Royal Family or perhaps whenever England loses at football. Paedophiles also seem to bring out the frothing, feral creature in the British press, that and Asylum Seekers…
Wednesday, 13 June 2007
I take that back, you are well matched.
Names usually have little relation to the person who owns the title but I can’t help but be reminded of the woman who pledged everlasting eternal love to Trolius before running off with Diomedes. Or in your case, Diomedes, Adeipho, Adelphos, Adrastos, Agatone, Alcander, Altair, Ambrose, Anatol…the list goes on.
Female inconstancy, changing without discernible pattern or reason; fickle and faithless. Has a ring to it doesn’t it?
You are well matched indeed.
I await the car crash when the abusive, violent Uranus is unable to control his base instincts by either lashing out in contemptible fashion or sticking his stub into something else. If there weren’t a child involved I’d say it was a fitting end for the pair of you.
And you call this love?
Tuesday, 12 June 2007
Your mistakes are made by you
Whatever you do, you gotta' make it through
Whatever you say, you gotta' mean it too
And don't bother saying it if it ain't true
You can't learn from one mistake
You'll make two then three, you won't stop
And you think your future looks bright but it's not
You've lost it, might as well stop stop stop
Are you gonna' learn from your mistakes?
Or are you gonna' stay dumb?
Monday, 11 June 2007
But with some serious right-wing credentials and of course, the kind of persona that goes down very well with many voters across the US. Even though he hasn't declared that he's in the race yet, polls already have him as a comfortable third, possibly second, behind the grief whore that is Giuliani. So will the Rethugs go for Reagan-lite? Only time will tell.
I still think he looks like an elderly Kelsey Grammer though...
Sunday, 10 June 2007
Took the oppotunity to take a few snaps of the stunning views across the city, made me feel very grateful to call London my home town and be part of one of the greatest cities in the world; maybe even better than New York as the sun came streaming down.
Friday, 8 June 2007
(I'm not hotlinking by the way, I'd never commit such a sin but just love the image and the phrase underneath, kinda' seems appropriate)
It's easy to get suckered in, easy to be dragged down into posturing, empty, brutal bullshit. Can't believe it's taken me this long to see it.
How sad to use affection as a weapon, exchanging images and displays of love like strutting peacocks firing fecal pellets in a phoney war: "I'm more in love than you!" - the avian plop piles through the internet air - "NO! I'm more loved up than you are!" - winged ass beads are returned in rapid fire, a vulgar display of nothingness.
Parading love and affection like it's a toy, how can it be true and precious when it's used as a means of one-upmanship? There's celebration and then there is masturbation but it seems to me that you're wanking off a fake cock.
You get me?
As Bob Dylan said when he heard the cry of Judas:
"I don't believe you..."
Thursday, 7 June 2007
As the session drew to a close a particularly talented lad stepped forward and said:
He touched my massive wig and beamed with joy: “That’s made my day, I’ve touched the hair of God!” and ambled off, waving to me as I gathered my stuff to go home.
You gotta’ love the kids.
Tuesday, 5 June 2007
Nana is losing her mind, her warden left a voicemail:
"She keeps putting her bra on over her jumper"
Is this how we have to go out? Who we are slipping away out of our heads, forgetting the basics but remembering the war; full of stories but no life?
The worse bit is she knows what she's losing and it induces a blind panic as she rages against the light.
Love you, miss you, hope peace finds its way into your heart.
Monday, 4 June 2007
Friday, 1 June 2007
Alan Johnston was kidnapped, it seems now by the Army of Islam, on the 12th March 2007 and since that time there has been a great deal of concern and sadness as the events have unfolded.
The great shame, apart from the travesty of the enforced imprisonment of a journalist, is that Alan was a real voice for the people of Palestine; one of the only Western journalists remaining and willing to highlight the plight of the Palestinian people.
As time went on, fears grew for his safety and journalists far and wide came together, along with the people of Palestine and it’s leaders, to lobby for his release.
Thankfully today, a short video of Alan has been released; soon I hope it will be Alan Johnson himself that will be returned safely to his family and to carry on doing his job.