Before I wade into the subhuman cunt who tried his best to spoil the fun for everyone else, can I just describe the joys of the curry I had, which was lamb based, very creamy with spaghetti in it and an omelette on top...
IT WAS PERHAPS THE BEST THING I'VE EVER EATEN!
Moving on swiftly...
Louis CK, for those that don't know, if an American comedian of the first order (I'm not sure what that means but if US funny people have an order, Louis is in it and it is of the first order kind of order) and he had me and Eva in stitches all night with his awesome routine. My personal favourite bits were a nice section on sweating (I feel his pain, being a pro-sweater since birth) and mini-people coming out of your vagina and shitting all over your dreams.
However, sat next to Eva-Jane, on the front row that is, was a man who was not only Australian but also seemingly high and drunk, who had completely lost his personal space parameters. Before the show started, I warned him to watch himself and make sure he gave Eva room, job done I thought, twat dealt with, now bring on the laughs.
Unfortunately, once the show began his sprawling body, foot stomping, ostentatious clapping, semi-passing out on Eva's knee, wandering hands and general asshat behaviour meant that he did the best job he could of ruining the night of all the people around him who were digging the work of Louis.
I was in a conumdrum, do I...
- Beat him to shit in front of a theatre of people and spoil the show
- Swap places with Eva and hope that our shifting on the front row doesn't distract from the show and inflame the mong-bat any further as he rubs up against me
- Sit there and fume, trapped between wanting to do something and not wanting mess up everyone's night
I did number 3.
Shame on me.
I hope that horrible little man gets diabetes and his feet drop off from poor circulation.