Friday, 4 September 2009

The Worst Wax Works Ever?

I was going to write today about how badly Milton Friedman's ideas destroyed Chile and Argentina but then I thought, it's the bloody weekend so why not have some light-hearted fun and show you some pictures of quite possibly the worst wax interpretations of celebrities ever.

I am not sure why the waX work seems to be sat in the corner and why the forehead is so high...somehow they have enabled Sandra Bullock to look like a man with man's hands.

Perhaps the only one that is an improvement on the original human, clearly the maker was a Republican.

What the hell is going on here with the ball defying gravity and look of terror on the wax Jordan's face? Deeply disturbing stuff.

No resemblance here what so ever and no doubt making a wax work is tough but come on guys, how hard can it be? And once again, they have made a fine woman look like a man or a pre-op transsexual at best.

Is it me or does this look a bit like The Joker of Batman fame? But in awful clothes...

No way is this Jack Nicholson but rather a deformed Bob Hope zombie coming to eat you alive as you are bedazzled by his beige ensemble. RUN TO THE HILLS!

I love Drew Barrymore but this creature, whose hands seem to made of pork and are conjuring some kind of evil ju-ju magic, has the pallid tone of a near-dead human and hair like a ginger killer.

We all know that Cher is a bit of an old slag but why an earth they posed this wax version with her legs akimbo, sat on a bit of old carpet looking like a drunk gypsy who'd suck you off for a bottle of cider. Also, note to the maniac that dressed her: open-toed heels should never be worn with tights.

All I can think of when I look at this hybrid Bruce Willis is a hunchback paedophile with a gun waiting to stun his next sexual conquest...

I had no idea that Bruce Springsteen was in fact a child, unable to get clothes to fit him but clearly he is, he also seems to be joining the wax Willis in the hunchback gang.

For a start off, this looks more like Christina Aguilera than Britney but Ms. Spears should be grateful that she doesn't look like a man.

Boris Yeltsin anyone? The wax dummy makers GOP leanings are even clearer here and can someone please tell me the last time they saw a papier mache cat as terrifying as that one?

It's all gone a bit Denzel Washington hasn't it? No doubt the racist Republican making these thinks that all black people look the same...

I've saved the best till last and if the wax version of the tiny Scientologist pervert doesn't give you nightmares then you're made of tougher stuff than I am.

I CLOSE MY EYES AND HE'S STILL THERE, LOOKING AT ME WITH THAT CRAZY SMILE...
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

18 comments:

  1. Lord. When I first looked at the blog, all I could see was the Bullock one, and I thought two things:
    1) Why does he have a picture of a Sandra Bullock drag queen on his blog?

    and:
    2) Why is Sandra all dressed up while she's trying to pinch a loaf? (does the phrase 'pinch a loaf' mean the same thing in Britain as it does in the US?)

    Lord.

    All the women look like bad drag queens, and all the men look either like ventriloquist dummies or my kids' action figures.

    Except Tom. I see no difference there. They both scare the loaf right out of me.

    Lord.

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  2. Why does The Boss not have any feet?

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  3. Fuck me, they're bad. The top one's supposed to be Sandra Bullock? Steven Seagal I could believe ...

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  4. Well, I look at this and think of two possibilities:

    1. Mme Tussaud's has really gone downhill.
    2. England is a wierd enough place to support more than one wax museum.

    The second one is rather distressing.

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  5. It makes Sandra Bullock look like an alien from Star Trek. Not quite Klingon, but definitely not human.

    The Jack Nicholson one could probably be remedied by messing up the hair and sticking some shades on it, but they are all pretty horrendous.

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  6. I'm glad to hear that you are a connossieur of bad waxworks like myself. May I suggest you check out the fantastic work put out by Louis Tussauds, owned by Leisure Parcs Ltd, but taking its name from Madame Tussauds grreat-grandson who did follow in the familial footsteps to great wax effigies of celebrities of the day. Nowadays the brand appears to have fallen on hard times, either that or the people who model the wax are from the local blind school.

    They have a branch in Great Yarmouth and one oop North in Blackpool. They once tried to auction off the old heads to raise some cash, but they were so awful there were no bids and the press took the piss, etc.

    Here is a picture of "The Beatles" for your entertainment:

    http://www.nothingtoseehere.net/images/louis-tussauds.jpg

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  7. You chaps make me laugh oh and Dave, these are American was monsters, not British.

    Heh.

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  8. Oh dear, and here I thought I couldnt be any more disturbed by this post.

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  9. Daniel, was laughing TOO hard to make a comment!! My God, you can wrack one's ribs!;-))

    Seriously, some delectable women: Drew! Sandra Bullock! CHer(hot, hot hot...geriatric!); Julia Robertson!

    Ohhhh...will be fantasizing all week. How can such beautiful women be deformed so??:-(

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  10. Daniel, I know you don't believe in Facebook and all that twitter much, but I am going to right now bring some traffic to your blog by tweeting this post on my twitter account...

    what, am I a twat?;-)

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  11. Dave:

    Yep, final nail in the not disturbed coffin my friend.

    Emmanuel:

    Glad you liked it and yep, link away to share the comnedy gold here. Did you get my comments about which of your blogs I should link to? Can you let me know comrade?

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  12. The hideous one of Cher (aka Scare) gives me an idea for a Halloween Drag Queen. Nightmares for weeks.

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  13. wondering what wax jack was doing with his hand

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  14. Oh my god, those are creepy! My favourite is the bendy rubber Jim Carrey!

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  15. The Sandra Bullock and Julia Roberts ones vaguely remind me of Weird Al. Maybe it's the hair.

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  16. Wow, someone, somewhere must have linked to this and ya'll pop along to leave some thoughts. Thanks for that and in answer to the widow, I think he is holding his imaginary penis.

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  17. Oh Noooooooo!!!!!!!! hahahahahahaha Rofl!

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