Monday, 15 February 2010

Two True Stories on a Monday

(The soundtrack to this blog post is The Soft Pack and Buddy Holly)
  1. A mother leaves her 16 year old Down's syndrome son at home, as she often does, while she pops out to do some shopping, she is only gone for about 20 minutes but when she returns and her son answers the door she immediately notices that his face is covered in scratches and bruises; although he seems oblivious. She asks him what is wrong and he says: "Don't worry mum, I saw a goblin walking outside and I caught it, the goblin is tied up in the kitchen." The mother rushes to the kitchen, expecting to see a cat or small dog tied up and in distress, perhaps dead but instead she finds a dwarf in her kitchen, tied up and in distress and most definitely not dead. It turns out her son had been looking out of the window when the dwarf was strolling past and confusing him for a goblin, wrestled him to the floor and into the house where he subdued him and tied him up with an old washing line. No charges were pressed.
  2. I went to an audition this morning for a commercial for a leading search engine. For the actors who get the part it will be worth around 11k and working with a great director. We had to go in in pairs, I was to play the normal bloke chatting to his neighbour and the other actor was the neighbour who also happened to be a human search engine. My partner had presumed he was up for my part, not the human search engine part and seeing that he was actually up for the far more interesting part he walked out, claiming that he was unable to play this part. Myself, the camera man and casting director just looked on in shock as he walked away over seemingly nothing. Someone stepped straight into his shoes and did a fine audition as I did my best normal bloke. That, ladies and gentlemen, is show business.


  1. That's ridiculous (the guy walking out on the audition, I mean)....

    Didn't he need the job?

  2. No idea, it was madness really but his loss is someone's gain.

  3. I've heard that first story, but in a slightly different format - stoned guy wrestles kid with downs syndrome to the floor and locks him in a wardrobe thinking he's a goblin.

    What I don't get about your second story, or more specifically the walker outer, is surely as an actor you have to believe you can do any part, or why would you even bother?

  4. I may have fallen for an urban myth Beth, this seems to be a take on it, I'm checking my sources.

    And I couldn't agree more with your closing statement, the clue is in the title of actor.

  5. Can I be an actor now? I've got a good memory and my recent dealings with the Great British Public means that I can now lie and feign emotions at will.

  6. If you want to Darren but it's a hard job to get started but reaping dividends now comrade.


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