Tuesday, 20 April 2010

Bumping into a Daft Racist

I can't believe it but I am working for the BBC.

After three lengthy auditions and much nail-biting I am taking my very own comedy creation, the legendary New Basford resident and top bloke Kirky (named after my great pal Kirky...I'm looking forward to seeing you bro!), onto your television sets.

I don't want to talk in too much detail just yet, or give too much away but yesterday was the first day of filming at BBC Television Centre. This was like a dream come true, pulling up to that famous building in a Jaguar (not mine, they had it come and pick me up) and gliding past security and onwards and upwards, deep into the bowels of the BBC to do my first day of filming there.

I remember standing in a corridor, waiting to go in and do my stuff outside of the studio we were filming in and had a real moment of "what the fuck I am doing here, how did I manage this?" before I heard action and was diving into what I do best.

The only downside, in what was a spectacular day in my life, was touching the BNP's uber-fuhrer Nick Griffin. I actually walked into him, or he walked into me, not sure which way round it was...it was all so quick. I was surprised because the fat, daft, one-eyed racist was moving at quite a pace for a big lad and was lurching far ahead of his burly minders and apparatchiks.

He kind of bounced off me, made his apologies, as did I...even instinct in an instant can bypass my loathing of bigots and scuttled off into a lift.

I discovered that my dressing room was right next to his and I thought about knocking on and having a chat with him but I thought better not cause a scene on my first day at the BBC.

Turned out he was there to do an interview for Radio 5 Live, which you can hear right here if you want to hear the daft racist blathering on.


  1. forget him, sugar! and YIPPIE!!! for y'all - i hope we'll get to see it here at some point! xoxoxo

  2. Let us know when it's on the iPlayer (I don't own a proper telly).

    Have a steaming hot bath and burn any clothes that touched Fat Hitler. Better safe than sorry.

  3. And why does he need a dressing room if he was on the radio?

  4. Wicked mate! Let me know when it's on bud! Well looking forward to it! :-)

  5. Outcast unclean! Toucher of Nick Griffin!

    But seriously, good work on the BBC work.

  6. I am so excited! From now on I will have to label any posts that hint at you with 'celebrity' (probably a little late after the movie and all that, but better late than never). Woohoo! Very exciting stuff, Daniel!

  7. Yeah, in my time I had two interviews at the BBC. I remember getting lost in the atrium and wandering around a bit. Of course, I never got the job...ha ha ha... (I'm not bitter...no...no...no)

    Oh no, a new comic creation...some of us are still recovering from Cyderdelic. See on BBC3 then, just afer Snog, Marry, Avoid???

  8. Congratulations twice.

    The BIG one is for the BBC shenanigans and the smaller one is for resisting the temptation to say, "Watch where you're going you fat fascist prick!" (You could've followed it up with an indignant, "Don't you know who I am?")

  9. Dan,

    Congrats on your show. On the subject of Nick Griffen, I heard a joke which made me laugh (but it was all in the delivery so I don't know if it will really come over in this form).

    Q: What is the difference between Nick Griffen and the Icelandic Volcano

    A: The volcano got taken seriously on question time

    Although my mate Paul then suggested that a more suitable answer was :-

    A: One is a Twat and the other is a volcano

  10. When you are beloved of millions, dont forget us little folk.

  11. Fantastic news about the BBC :-)!!!

    Also credit to you for not instinctively trying to pull his cheeks. Genuine question: does he look as ugly in real life?

  12. I must confess, I did worry if I could catch racism from him, so to be safe I went for a racist test and I'm clean, thank God.

    And to answer your question Claude, yes but he is also quite small and smirky. If that makes any sense...hard to see the man when I despise him so much.

    As for fame and/or celebrity...well, not too sure about that yet, you never know how things are going to turn out do you? I do worry that any level of fame will effect my blogging, which would be a blow and I can assure everyone that I would forget no one. Indeed, one upside of fame is that all my links would become instant web hits!

    Strange times.

  13. Well done! Hopefully here comes glory!!

    "Turned out he was there to do an interview for Radio 5 Live, which you can hear right here if you want to hear the daft racist blathering on".


    Think I pass on that one.

  14. Fair enough. He made a colossal tit of himself.

    Same as it ever was.

  15. I hope Nazi Nick didn't leave an unseemly stain on your clothes.

    But anyway, congratulations! I finally know an almost-celebrity! You are however aware that the price of fame, fortune, and circulation on Have I Got News For You etc. is an active Twitter account?

  16. Looking forward to seeing your work. I've also made gains during the past year!

  17. Well done on the show - I cant wait to see it!

  18. Just as well you didnt try it on with Griffin, he would have battered you.

    He won a boxing blue at Oxford, and you are a fat luvvy.

  19. Hello Sentinel pretending to be someone called Marly, you odd little Internet stalker.

    Only a daft racist like you could figure Nick Griffin to be hard and me fat, you daft twat. Come and have a go if you're hard enough daft lad.


    Fuck Twitter, thanks for the props bro and same to you Stephen.


    I look forward to hearing about them, so happy things are good for you.

  20. Seriously? Congratulations! I have no idea what exactly you did or how much fame and recognition it will bring you, but there is no doubt it is well-deserved. I look forward to hearing/listening/seeing more of you in any medium.

  21. Great to hear from you Jess, thanks for your kind words. What you up to? Hope you're well?

  22. Delighted to hear that you are on the up. Do you have any idea when they are likely to start re-runs on DSTV, as the chances are that'll be the only opportunity I get to see such merriment?

    Think you'll have to file the NG moment away with all those other "if only I'd thought of that at the time..." moments that life seem to dish out.

  23. How exciting is that, you working for the beeb! Congratulations, its about time they got some decent talent in their employ!

    Glad to hear the nasty racism wasn't contageous. It'd put a real damper on the blog if it had been :)

  24. Congrats in getting into Auntie Beeb's house. A jaguar to pick you up? You lucky sod!

    Coincidentally, I hear Griffin on Radio5live. Been listening to PODCASTS from Nicky Campbell for the past few weeks, and was fascinated by how the majority of the listeners just knew where they stand with the BNP.

    Good stuff! Was so funny listening to a black guy calling in to say "It'll be a cold night in hell" before he joins the BNP. Yet when he started, it was like all peaches...wondering whether he has any black guys in his party...

    Good listening!

    Did I say congrats on the BBC?? Well done, mate! More piccies!

    Daniel, was it not ur birthday on 17th April? Mine's today...don't see ur birth date featured on ur blog anymore...where did it go?


Please do not be under the misapprehension that this blog has a laissez-faire comments policy where commenters can get away with whatever they want to say on account of their ‘freedom of speech’.

Blurred Clarity has a stringent comments policy. So anything off-topic, diversionary, trollish, abusive, misogynist, racist, homophobic or xenophobic will be deleted.

Cheers duckies.