Thursday, 28 December 2006

Merry Christmas All Ya'll Bitches!

First off, apologies for lack of blogging and not visiting the sites I always visit but seriously, it's fuckin' Christmas and all that jazz so why an earth would I want to be on the PC typing shit when instead I can be out there eating, drinking and being very merry indeed (I got a gramophone and that makes me very, bastard merry so if anyone wants to buy me some 78s, go for it...)?

Second off (I don't think that's even a word but what the hell), Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all my readers and those people that stumble here looking for interviews with p0rn stars or pictures of Amanda Holden naked. How ever you get here, it's all good by me people.

Third off, (I know for a fact that isn't a word) love, peace and respect to all those people that know me, I hope that 2007 brings you more than 2006 did.

Don't know when I'll blog next but when I do, I'll fill you in on my attempts to buy a house/tiny, over priced flat; another commecial I'm in/one I could be in and why being Northern is the funniest thing in the world.

Sunday, 24 December 2006

Intertwined Tinsel

We joke about

Cheesy Christmas based analogies

For our love

And come up with the idea of

Intertwined Tinsel

Around the Christmas tree of life

But somehow

It doesn't feel cheesy at all

In fact

It feels just perfect.

Friday, 22 December 2006

Bad Brains

As many of you will know, for all my pretence at being into avant-garde jazz, hip-hop and Fleetwood Mac, the musical love of my life is hardcore punk rock.

I have many favourite bands, the best of course being the ultimate noise of Black Flag but legendary Washington D.C. outfit Bad Brains aren't too far off. So for the punk rocker in your life, why don't you perhaps treat them to their latest Greatest Hits and watch as they spaz out to some of the densest jams laid down since time began.

Here is a video of one of my favourite tracks, Soul Craft, which opens with lead throat HR bashing out the riff like some mentalist before the rest of the band crash in on the grindcore.

Fuck me, this is good shit.

Bad Brains - Soul Craft

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Wednesday, 20 December 2006


When I pretend to be dead it makes her laugh

I talked about boarding school boys

Sticking their willys into test tubes

For kicks

And I make her

Heart beat out of her chest

Monday, 18 December 2006

The First Dance

I felt so honoured to be there

It's where I belong

I held your hand as we watched the first dance

The tears came to my eyes

There is something so beautiful about love

I want to be where they are

Whisper it

But I think I already am

I could watch you move all night long

You stop me breathing

Let's Stay Together?

As long as you don't mind me crying

While we have our first dance

Friday, 15 December 2006

I Won't Share You

I won't share you
I won't share you
With the drive
And ambition
The zeal I feel
This is my time
The note I wrote
Was read, she said
Has the Perrier gone
Straight to my head
Or is life sick and cruel, instead?
"Yes !"
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
I won't share you
I won't share you
With the drive
And the dreams inside
This is my time
Life tends to come and go
That's ok
As long as you know
Life tends to come and go
As long as you know
Know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know
I won't share you
I won't share you
With the drive
And the dreams inside
This is my time
I want the freedom and I want the guile
I want the freedom and the guile
Life tends to come and go
As long as you know
Know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know
I won't share you
I won't share you
I'll see you somewhere
I'll see you sometime

Thursday, 14 December 2006

The Holocaust Conference

Nothing turns my stomach more than those people that try and somehow downsize the systematic evil of Nazi Germany’s Final Solution and dress it up as genuine academic research, when really it barely masks their anti-Semitic worldview.

The Holocaust Conference in Iran is a deeply unsavoury event that unfortunately seems to find many supporters in the more ignorant elements of the blogosphere. Regular readers will know that I am no fan of Zionism and the regime currently in power in Israel, regular readers will also know that I am a vigorous defender of free speech, even in the most extreme of circumstances (such as this sham of a conference) but that doesn’t mean I cannot voice my displeasure at those that believe this mock conference is anything other than a crude, idiotic stab in a wet paper bag.

The Holocaust Conference purports to investigate the details of the Holocaust but contains not one single academic or historian that is an expert on the matter, more importantly, the sheer wealth of data on the Holocaust provides such an undeniable wall of evidence that crushes all doubt of the size and scale of the genocide that debate is at best pointless and at worst, rooted in utterly corrupt and anti-Semitic values. What is the point, other than to cause distress and sow the seeds of racism, of arguing whether 5 million or 8 million Jews died?

The point seems not to lay with the Holocaust at all but rather that it led to the formation of the state of Israel, its role in the psyche of Zionism and as an excuse for the brutal expansionist policies of Israel. It also seems to be some pathetic attempt at a tit-for-tat testing of the Western world’s free speech ideals in the face of those silly cartoons of the Prophet Muhammad, which is an easy win for the West as we haven’t burned any flags yet or got ourselves in a rage over two-dimensional images.

Frankly, there are some events in world history that are above such petty minded exercises in political game play and it is so vulgar, so disrespectful of all those that died, to try and demean events in order to score political points. Those involved are cowards, they do not dare to honestly expose their anti-Semitic views and they would rather hide them behind the dead bodies of Dachau, Auschwitz and Belzec than stand up for their so-called beliefs.

We cannot go back and remove the state of Israel; whose formation rose from the ashes of those slaughtered, we need to move forward, together, for a peaceful solution in the Middle East which will involve compromise on all fronts. Of course there are Zionists who use the Holocaust for political leverage, those that justify acts of terror under the umbrella of those terrible events in the past and these people stand shoulder to shoulder with all those that abuse the memory of the Holocaust and use if for political advancement.

I shall leave you with an image from the personal photo album of a member of the Einsatzgruppen, who labelled it ‘The Last Jew of Vinnitsa’, it documents the moment that the last of some 28,000 Jews in the Ukraine village of Vinnitsa was put to death. It speaks volumes in this time of empty, desperate language.

Tuesday, 12 December 2006

Kofi Annan’s Parting Shot

"No nation can make itself secure by seeking supremacy over all others."

Yesterday, the out going UN Secretary-General decided to have a pop at the Rethug regime that has made his second term in power a living hell.

Kofi Annan is no fool; he buttressed his call for a US return to multilateralism with quotes from President Harry S. Truman: "the responsibility of the great states is to serve and not dominate the peoples of the world" but pulled no punches in his very genuine belief that the peoples of the world must stand together rather than pay lip-service to grand ideals.

He spoke passionately about the need for shared responsibility, a global solidarity and about moving legislation beyond pure rhetoric and taking direct and powerful action if necessary to make sure human rights are protected. He rebuked the United States for its illegal war in Iraq and for justifying torture in its war on terror: “No state can make its own actions legitimate in the eyes of others. When power, especially military force, is used, the world will consider it legitimate only when convinced that it is being used for the right purpose, for broadly shared aims, in accordance with broadly accepted norms.”

I’m sure many Americans will disagree but considering that one UN Secretary-General was a Nazi war criminal, Kofi Annan had a pretty good record in power with only two rather grubby events cluttering up his legacy. For me, the Ruud Lubbers sexual harassment investigation was of more concern than the alleged Oil-for-Food Programme, which turned out to be an unfortunate event to happen on the watch of Kofi Annan but one in which he had no involvement.

There is one thing that cannot be knocked of Kofi Annan’s time in power; he was a very popular UN Secretary-General who unfortunately, was a lone dissenting voice in the rise of the attempted US neo-conservative hegemony and for that alone, he deserves some respect as he pissed admirably unto the wind. I’ll leave you with his comments delivered in September this year of the challenges facing his successor.

"And yet. And yet. Every day, reports reach us of new laws broken, of new bestial crimes to which individuals and minority groups are subjected…The events of the last 10 years have not resolved, but sharpened, the three great challenges I spoke of: an unjust world economy, world disorder and widespread contempt for human rights and the rule of law…as a result, we face a world whose divisions threaten the very notion of an international community, upon which this institution stands."

Let’s hope the world can pull together to banish these terrible injustices to the place where they belong.

Monday, 11 December 2006

My Favourite Helmet

I am white but I think I'm black, hence my 'gangsta' fingers.

This gets me in trouble with white people who think that I'm disrespecting my heritage and who can't understand why I'd like to be a nigger.

This also gets me in trouble with black people who think I'm disrespecting their heritage and who can't understand why I'd like to be a nigger.

Niggers are so cool and I can use that word because my black friends let me use it but I have to say it without the 'er' on the end otherwise they call my mum a whore and threaten to pop a cap in my ass.

I wear my favourite helmet for three reasons, the first is that due to me pretending to be black I get a lot of people trying to punch my face in and the helmet makes it pretty hard for people to do that. The second reason is it makes me look cool and a bit like a crazy nigger. The third reason is it makes me feel like I'm the only white member of the Wu-Tang Clan and me and the Ghost Face Killa are using our martial arts skills on some Muslims.

When I think about me and the Ghost Face Killa beating up Arabs I get a funny feeling in my pants, I think that's how black people must feel all the time...

Friday, 8 December 2006

Stuck in a Moment You Can’t Get Out of

Dearest Michael, my brother, my best friend.

14 years have passed since I lost you and the pain and sense of loss has not diminished one iota, soon, the time since your death will eclipse your age when you died. What travesty that those that waste their lives, that piss and moan away their precious existence, should live whilst you do not.

The tears ran feely down my face as I walked to work this morning and memories of you filled my heart but, my sweet and perfect boy, I think that slowly I am finding peace.

I don’t believe in God so I know that you’re not in heaven. You’re in my heart, in my laugh, in the decisions I make. You are with me forever, sharing my life with me, side by side.

I miss you.

I love you.

“You've got to get yourself together, you've got stuck in a moment and now you can't get out of it.”

Wednesday, 6 December 2006

Slow Dance on a Tube Platform

As the train was pulling in to the platform

I took your left hand in my right

And my left slipped around your waist

And we slow danced to the love song in our head

Oblivious to the passengers swarming past us

Lost in our world

What a beautiful place to be.

Tuesday, 5 December 2006

Fang Boy

As of 22:32 on the 5th December 2006 this photo sums up exactly how I'm feeling inside.

Is that a good or a bad thing?

Answers to the usual address...

Monday, 4 December 2006

I Don’t Want to Feel/I Want to Feel

A director, during an emotion memory exercise for a play I’m doing, asked me to remember a moment of rejection; to transfer myself back to the time and place when an offering of love was soundly put in its place as a desperate gesture by a desperate man.

Unfortunately, I have rather a few moments I can draw upon but I was surprised by how fresh and raw the sensation was even though the event in question is nearly a year old. I felt my breath quicken and become shallow, my chest falling and rising, my hands becoming fists, the dull sob of my heartbroken mouth as the humiliation of my feelings lay exposed like innocent bystanders caught in a terrible explosion.

As the tears rolled down my face and the pain made me bite my lip and dig my nails into the palms of my hands I felt all the trouble of the last year well up so profoundly in my soul that I thought I may split in two. Instead, I smashed my right hand into the hard floor and instantly felt foolish as my knuckle throbbed in pain.

“Men look so stupid when they hit things.”

I’m heartbroken. How can giving everything I’ve got not be enough? Why do people wake up to what they’ve lost only when its gone and not when its on its knees begging for attention? Why am I so weak?

I’ll be glad when this atrocity exhibition is over.

Friday, 1 December 2006

Jim Webb vs. George W. Bush

Senator Jim Webb (war veteran, pugilist, wearer of his son’s boots and winner of the tight race in Virginia) had done his best to avoid President George W. Bush (national guard veteran, cheerleader, wearer of the Emperor’s clothes and winner of a tight race in Florida) at a White House reception but rather foolishly Dubya sought out the famously combative senator, whose son is currently serving in Iraq and the following dialogue ensued:

Bush: How’s your boy?

Webb: I’d like to get them out of Iraq, Mr. President.

Bush: That’s not what I asked you. How’s your boy?

Webb: That’s between me and my boy, Mr. President.

Conversation over.